This past coming out day, I found myself reflective, so I posted about it on social media. I basically said that Coming Out Day turned 31 last year, same as me. I’ve had my own journey with gender and sexuality, and today I have “Queer Womxn in Tech” on my business card, spelled w-o-m-x-n.
Now, along with the pressure from outside the community, there’s disagreement within the community about the definition of each term, about who can fit under what label, but I’ve learned that the labels we give ourselves can provide power and confidence to start to give a name to an otherwise hard-to-describe feeling. And it may not fit just right, but once we have the words to start talking about ourselves, we can start to define our individual identity.
People still use “the bedroom” as a way to talk about gender and sexuality, trying to be supportive or as a way to criticize. As in, “It doesn’t matter what you do in the bedroom.”
But how many kissing scenes do you see on one night of television on one channel? Dating scenes, flirting, office crushes, married couples? And the bedroom doesn’t cover most of the queer community.
A lot of Coming Out Day criticism is because of self centered-ness. Humans are inherently self-centered. But it’s equally important to keep self-awareness high. So if people would just pause and try to balance their self-centeredness with their self-awareness, they would see that Coming Out Day is a celebration of individual clarity.
I simultaneously hate the divisiveness of our world, and I celebrate it. Dissent and action and visibility are what create change. But if we could also try to see the humanity in others, imagine what could be done.
So after I posted that on social media, I kept coming back to it, trying to come up with a way to share my experiences, ways to create visibility in my own way. What could I create that I would have found helpful? What could I create that other people would find helpful, either from the perspective of someone like me or from someone interacting with someone like me? What did I feel like was missing from the discussion, that was relevant to my world?
Because I spend a lot of my time being technical. I nerd out about making websites and learning new ways to do things, and the new tools, and the new toys. I try to find different ways to help others understand and benefit from my tech skills. And then I spend the rest of my time talking with others about mental health, about business, about gender and sexuality, about really amazing tv shows with lesbians in them. But I never really felt like I was truly represented anywhere. There were bits and pieces scattered all over, and that feels amazing, but I still have to put all the pieces together myself.
So for instance, you have Lesbians Who Tech for inclusive tech jobs, you have QueerHustle for a network of queer womxn growing their businesses and doing cool stuff, you have queer tv, comics, and pop culture and then all of the websites and podcasts that go along with that, which continue the enjoyment and grow representation. You have coming out stories and discovering the journey to self-awareness. You have mental health awareness. Gender. Womxn in business. Entrepreneur resources. TV shows to help kids code, programs to get more girls coding.
But nothing that truly spoke to me as a whole. So I wanted to make a podcast of things that are relevant to me, that maybe others can take bits and pieces from.
So you can look forward to episodes ranging from website tips to being LGBTQIA in an office setting, to entrepreneurship, mental health, lesbians on TV, basically anything that relates to being a queer womxn, in tech, working for myself. The journey to get here and the excitement of tackling things to come.
Just a queer tech womxn in business offering a little bit of nerdiness and discovery from my own perspective.